The Hazel Project

I trust everyone is well and know you are all in my thoughts and good intentions.

Last Saturday I drove to Palm Springs (near Joshua Tree) to see, ‘the Flopster’, a friend of many years, since High School actually. Driving home from Palm Springs I had 2 calls from Lucky BEGGING me to come in and look at two 2008 Silver Mica Pine Prius that just arrived. I shook my head and laughed. Partly because of Lucky’s tenacity. Partly because I was embarrassed from having driven the ‘Flopster’ and his very gracious wife around in my VW. Fine for me and Herb driving cross country; however, questionableSouthern etiquette for entertaining Jackson friends in a high desert resort town.
It was 100 degrees without AC. So when I listened to Lucky’s phone call I was really thinking, New Car with A/C and locks please!

Monday morning, shortly after arriving to work, I get another call from Lucky, “Mr. Stephen, I have the Option 5 Prius for you on the lot right now. Option 5 Silver Pine Mica!” Lucky’s voice timbre and inflection is strikingly similar to Apu from the Simpsons.

I tell Lucky I’ll come in to take a look at the 2008 Prius after work. I feel an immediate twinge of being out of my price range but look it up on Edmund’s.com anyway. I write down some numbers that I think are reasonable and responsible.

At 7:30 p.m., Monday night, I went to see Lucky and test drive the, 2008, fresh off the truck, Silver Mica Pine Option 5 Prius.

What can I say? Everything was great. The JBL stereo sounded really nice and the GPS lit up the car with a nice glow. It was a really nice car!

I messed around with the controls on the steering wheel as we drove. It was the first time I entertained buying a car with something more than a horn button on the steering wheel. I kept hearing this nervous clicking sound from Lucky’s side of the car. I was too busy digging the vibe to ask him what all the clicking was.

On this test drive I decided I should try to ramp it up a bit; as much as you can in a Prius. This is a bubble in the style of a Kamakiriad -w/o the hydroponic garden or balinese tech (a joke for Dan)- It was a bit slow in the middle of acceleration but then I looked down at the control panel. We were going 59mph, uphill, in a residential neighborhood.

Honestly, I was satisfied with that, but I still needed to REALLY test it on the 5 Freeway, and began to wonder why I refrained from bringing that up. I found out later it’s about control.

Back at the dealership I wanted to play a bit and see if Lucky would entertain any of my numbers that I had written down. I thought these were good numbers but at the same time it seemed I was forgetting something or that they had come too easy.

Inside the big, open, harshly lit showroom, Lucky did a credit check on me and we began the arduous ‘old school’ process of discussing numbers. Lucky writes down my information and tells me that a manager will be right with me.

SO I WAIT…

I began to focus on meditation which I found difficult in a Car Showroom atmosphere. I notice guys in white shirts and silk ties notice me. I thought I saw one guy who had a gold ring on each finger.

Lucky returned with a young guy named Jack. Jack was stocky and had a stubble growing from a clean shaven head. He approached me and pulled me to him when I shook his hand; another control technique. He sat hunched down at the table where I had been for about 20 minutes so far. Jack had a piece of paper know as a “Four Square.” This sales tool had numbers written in Sharpee, numbers written in pen, and maybe some in pencil too. It was covered in numbers. It was for the most part indecipherable.

He launched right into the trade. He was disappointed when I told him I was going to sell my VW to a kid in Echo Park - which is true. Jack countered saying he’d give me $100 for it. I declined his offer and he said, “Okay but you know people will be coming to your apartment checking out where you live and stuff if you try to sell it on Craig’s List or in the Recylcer!”

I thought it was early for the Fear Tactic but I would soon find out he was just an assistant sales manager and had a lot to learn about instilling fear from other managers.
He left again to think about different numbers.

…AND I WAIT AGAIN

Lucky and I began to talk about the second time I went to see him. He was showing me a Silver Prius Option 2 Prius and I brought a CD by a French duo called AIR to test the stereo. He commented on how much he liked it so I gave it to him. I said, “if you play track 5 on a test drive you will definitely sell the car.” He began to tell me a story how he had sold a Prius using the AIR CD. I think he used the CD as leverage because when I asked him if he still had it he said yes, then no, then yes again.

Jack returned with printed sheets this time - payments according to sticker price and financing that made me feel like I was taking a shower with prisoners. And I looked at him and said all of it was WAY too much which is exactly what he expected me to say, so he launched into his “leasing deal.” Which apparently is centered around a special interest rate that’s called something DIFFERENT than an interest rate. I guess this is to soften up the word “interest”. The word that came to my mind was interest-ing - I told the Burr Headed young gun, ‘No’, several more times about the lease.
It gave him a good chance to practice his chops though. He rubbed his head in growing frustration.

He kept saying he wanted to earn my business over and over. This surprised me. I thought this kind of vernacular had long gone away. He finally asks me in full frustration, “Stephen what’s more important to you, payment or interest rate”-I looked up at him and said, “Both!” He was surprised to hear it. Maybe because it was a Monday Night going on 10 o’clock. He went away to a room encased in glass where salesmen talk to their sales managers. These guys sit on a platform about 5 feet above everyone else. They are the real numbers guys and they have the computers. I looked inside and watched one of them scarf down a footlong Subway in 3 to 4 minutes. He should have won an oven mit or something for such gastro-intestinal talent.

…HURRY UP & WAIT SOME MORE

When Jack left AGAIN, Lucky and I sat at the table together. He began to tell me what a great deal this was, yada yada yada, Silver Pine Mica Stereo ‘niner’. He sat there kinda nervous and I noticed his hands. He had a ring missing. I asked him where his pinky ring was and he told me he never had a pinky ring just the two gold nugget rings with his initials on them. Sure enough, he had a Gold Nugget Ring with a big letter on his fourth finger and one on his middle finger. What struck me was that those were the initals of his last name. Perhaps he needed to sell me a car so he could buy an L to go on a Pinky nugget.

At this time I pulled out my own numbers out. I said, “Lucky, these are the numbers I’m thinking.” Funny thing is I wrote them in sharpee as if it were my own 4 Square. I said that I got these numbers from Edmund’s and that I knew what invoice and MSRP came to.

Lucky stood up and looked bewildered and upset. I began to hear clicking again. This time it was more nervous than before. Then the clicking disappeared as he walked away.

Jack returned with different numbers, even less favorable than before. He started becoming incensed that his numbers were so far off and that I ceased to be his perception of a “lie down.” A person who pays close to sticker price without negotiating.

After talking about all these numbers and waiting, I noticed that I was getting a bit tired and hungry and realized I had a 45 minute drive home. I said, “I think we’re done for tonight.” Thank you for your time.” I stood up, shook Jack’s hand, then Lucky’s hand and began my exit.

That was the WRONG thing to say.

more later.

Stephen A Thomas

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 22nd, 2007 at 9:55 pm and is filed under on the path, posts & stories . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.