on the path…at the dmv
Today was a day to get odds and ends done.
I piddled around mostly, hoping my boss would call me to help do a cue sheet or something.
But he didn’t.
I have 20 days to register my car here.
This morning was spent getting what the DMV was expecting me to have.
Of course they wanted my title that says my VW has been totaled. This piece of paper resides in my office and my office is a small suitcase that happens to be in my storage unit.
I devised a route to go by and pick it up and afterwards, I’d head out to the Pasadena DMV.
The door to my storage unit looked like someone took a crowbar to it; so before I left I chose to spend some time at the Public Storage office to buy a new lock from a nice, understanding cat named Eric.
I then made my way to Pasadena. My goal was to be back at Tim’s before rush hour.
As expected the DMV was a very busy place.
They had drivers handbooks in so many languages I lost count.
I stood in a line just to ask how long the real line was for waiting.
I ended up making an appointment for next week. It should go faster that way. Plus It’ll give me time to get my horn fixed.
Outside, the Jehova’s Witnessnes were at a table with their “awake” and “God wants to be your friend” booklets in as many languages as driver’s handbooks.
As I walked to my car, I had my hands full of various papers and driving info. Papers which did not include “God wants to be your friend”.
Looking down, writing in my planner that I needed to pass a smog test before my appointment; I was completely present.
I was at my car 3 seconds when I heard a ‘honk’ in my direction.
And there she was.
She was driving a Brand New White Mercedes Benz Convertible to be registered.
Pixaleen’s Mom!
Honking at me to hurry up and relinquish my coveted parking place.
Maybe she was frustrated from a missed botox appointment or a botched white tea enema. or vice versa.
I just looked at her, in half disbelief and half anger for such an unnecessary gesture. And there she was, really gesturing me away.
I guess it was better than being headbutted by a soccer player, right?
So, to her dismay, I got out my key; very, diliberately.
My key consists of a pair of pin-nosed pliers and a piece of a bass drum pedal hardware. I shove this in a hole where my lock used to be to trigger the VW’s auto-open mechanism.
It took an additional 15 seconds to assemble the key and manuever it just right to open my door.
I must say I’ve saved $150 on a new lock by using this method.
The new white mercedes convertible owner was unimpressed at my eschewing the need for such an overpriced part; and although she was too shiny to discern a glare, I just assumed she was glaring at me.
Boy was she in for a surprise to discover the hour + line up at the DMV.
Thinking back on it now, I have a funny vision of the “God wants to be your friend” booklets catching fire as she storms back to her new piece of secular happiness.
Too many Coen brothers movies I guess.
As the event happened, what I really thought about after I got in my car was the audio commentary to the movie “Crash”.
When Sandra Bullock’s character was performing her first angry diatribe, one of the producers commented,
“yeah she played this character perfectly. I know so many women like her in L.A.”
And now, I’ve met one too.
Thanks for checking in, and the comments.
Stephen A. Thomas
July 11th, 2006 at 6:19 am
Great post. I think this whole trip and blog could be adapted into a Coen Bros. movie.
By the way, regarding the aforementioned classic ’70s television show “Emergency”, the actual fire station used in the show is LA County FD station #127. It is located at 223rd street in the City of Carson.
The hospital used as Rampart is actually Harbor UCLA Medical Center. This is on the same street in Carson. Let us know if you ever get a chance to see these places.
July 11th, 2006 at 8:06 am
Larry,
This is very helpful because I was looking for LAFD stations on Rampart streets in La and Orange counties.
I’ll see where the city of Cason is.
steve
July 11th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
ahh yes, the lovely LA lady!!!! a species of her own. botox has systemic effects not yet realized by most but LA is the perfect case study. hope you took your sweet ever loving time to start that classic VW. mine used to beep of its own whim & accord as well as start only between the external temp of 50-70 degrees. by the time i settled her into her junkyard plot, it rained inside the car and i had to climb in through the passenger side. picture if you will….it was a mobile calamity complete with like driver. love your stories. -a
July 12th, 2006 at 12:40 pm
I dig how you refer to unknown folks as ” cat.” It reminds me of how my Dad talks. Does Herb say that too?
—Just curious, how far are you from the Pacific?
Linda
July 12th, 2006 at 12:56 pm
Hey Linda,
Herb enjoys correct pronoun usage.
The oddest reference to unknown folks I’ve ever heard was by an old
Baptist Pastor named Fred.
He used the term “peckerwood” in his sermons completely unaware
that the American Eglish language had changed along with the
culture. His frame of reference was 1934 farm culture.
Thankfully Herb doesn’t use that term either.
Steve
July 12th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
Wasn’t it in Thessalonians where Paul referred to the pagans as “peckerwoods”?
July 12th, 2006 at 5:40 pm
WHAT?
That’s not a farm word?
Well, I’ll be.
probably a peckerwood.
It sure was odd to hear the word in the middle of a fire and brimstone sermon.
Apparently that’s a perfect place for the word.
Thanks Larry,
Steve
July 12th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
I have to say this
Because my boss just used this word to refer to an uknown person.
It reminded me that HErb also used it in the past. I haven’t heard it in a long time.
The word is ‘Yahoo”.
Best I can tell it refers to someone’s bad driving.
for instance.
There are a lot kids on this street and these yahoos going 45 miles an hour are going to have to slow down.
Steve
July 12th, 2006 at 7:38 pm
Larry,
I believe the word “Peckerwood” didn’t make the cut for our current
edition of the Bible.
If Pastor Fred had his way he would have had added “peckerwood”
in. Currently, there is quite a debate over whether or not it is part of
the missing pieces of the Gnostic Gospel of Judas.
Thanks for your dry sense of humor. I admit, I bought that one.
As much as I’d like to save face, I’ll let
the comment stand.
Thanks again, you made me laugh today.
Steve
July 12th, 2006 at 7:58 pm
Linda,
I’m about 15-30 minutes from Santa Monica Pier depending on traffic.
Steve
July 14th, 2006 at 5:36 am
Steve,
How does LA water taste compare with Raleighs ?
July 15th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
I long to be a peckerwood.